U don’t open a telephone conversation with a “HELLO“,  but with a “Hi

The telephone is never “engaged“,  it-s always “busy“.

U don’t “disconnect” a phone,  U simply “hang-up“.

U never “mess-up” things,  U only “screw them up“.

U never have a “residence” tel. no.,  U have a “home” no.

U don’t stop at the “signals“,  but halt at the “lights“.

U don’t “accelerate“,  U “step on the gas“.

Your tire never “punctures“, U may have a “flat“.

There R no “petrol pumps“,  but “gas stations“.

U no longer meet a “wonderful” person,  U meet a “cool guy

There’s no “Business Area” only “business districts“, and no “districts” but “counties“.

No one stays “a stone’s throw away“, might “a few blocks away“.

There-s no “Town Side“, it’s “Down Town“.

In hotel U no longer pay by “cheque“, rather ask for “check“.

There R no “soft drinks“, only “sodas“.

Life-s no longer “miserable” it “stinks“.

U don’t “sweat it out“, U “work ur butt off“.

Never “post” a letter, always “mail” it and “glue” the stamps, don’t “stick” them.

U no longer live in “flats” or “blocks“,  find an “apartment“.

U don’t stand in a “queue“,  you are in a “line“.

U no longer “like” something,  U “appreciate” it.

U R not “deaf“,  U have “impaired hearing“.

U R not “lunatic“, U are just “mentally challenged“.

U R not “disgusting”  U R “sick“.

U can-t get “surprised”  U get “zapped“.

U never “joke“,  U just do “kidding“.

U never “increase” the pressure,   U always “crank” it up.

U never ask for a pencil “rubber“,  U ask for an eraser.

U don’t try to find a “lift“,  U find “an elevator”.

U don’t ask somebody “How r u ?“,  U say “What’s up dude?

U never go to “see a game”,  U go to “watch a game“.

If someone gets “angry” at U,  U get “flamed“.

You don’t say “How do you do“,  you say “How you doing

In short U don’t speak “English”,  U speak “American”.

Well u don’t say “life is boring”,  U say “LIFE SUCKS” !!!!!